Incidents in the life of.....

Monday, February 27, 2006

Questionable

I had an oral presentation to do today and I rocked it! I am so darn proud of myself. I feel like celebrating! Ha! I'm wonderful! Anyway, let me tell you about my professor. By the time I'd arrived in class, I'd made up my mind that I was going to let last week's comments slide. I'd thought about it long enough and decided to just prove to him that I could handle it. Anyway, we get to class and he tells this guy that he's first. The guy goes through his BORING presentation. The professor comments, then says, "Ashley, are you prepared to give your presentation today?" I respond, "Yes, I'm ready." I really was ready; I put 6 hours into it, not to mention the three where I was just reading and coming up blank. I was cheezing and everything bc I was in a good mood. He proceeds to ask, "Are you sure?" By this time, I feel the heat rising in my face. I respond, "Yes, I'm prepared for class." He says ok and lets me begin my presentation. I was wonderful. I could see it in his face that he was shocked, but appreciated my opinions. I felt like I did when I went to Brown and held my own amongst the students there. After I finished, he made a few comments, asked a few questions, then told someone else to begin. I was still on my high, but I couldn't help but notice that he didn't ask anyone else if they were prepared. So, to me it just confirmed what I'd thought all along: He doesn't think Black people are intelligent enough to succeed in his class. That is why I am the only one left and that is why he questioned me (TWICE) about my preparation. I was proud of me though bc I know I did well. We have mid-terms next week, so I am going to bust my butt making sure that I am ready.
I am still struggling with someone else's issue of homosexuality/ bisexuality/ heterosexuality. I need stregnth to deal with it so that I can move on. I need clarity so that I can move on. I need sanity because if I don't get it soon, somebody is going to get hurt and it may be me. I need to stop claiming something and have faith in God.

Posted by Nik :: 2/27/2006 :: 4 Comments: