Monday, February 13, 2006

Let it burn

Man, I have had an interesting week. I have issues that I need to resolve between two people that I once held extremely close. One of which I thought I would never have issues with; the other has taken me to hell and back. I really don't know if we can come out of this. My friends keep telling me that overreacting, but it's something that I don't think I can shake. I will honestly put forth the effort, but I can't help but feel betrayed. The situation just went too far. Part of that is my fault because I let it. At the same time, I feel like that person should have been able to separate the two and understand that an attachment to one would cloud judgment of what is best for the other. I don't know. We all have tests and I guess this is one of mine. I don't know if I will pass or not. Time will tell.

Saturday my daddy told me some disturbing news that made my stomach do flips over and over again. (my stomach must just be weak bc last week, I looked at a pic of an ex and threw up.) I should learn to trust my gut. I had a gut feeling about something, but ignored it bc I thought I was tripping. When my dad and I left breakfast, he pretty much confirmed my suspicions. He didn't have SOLID proof, but what he did have was more than enough. Man, that is still bothering me.

I went to see BOB yesterday. I just needed to be comforted. It's good to be around him because he knows how to make me smile and I know he won't hurt me. He even sang to me. I missed that. He has such a beautiful voice. I love that boy. It's not the kind of love that makes you want to be with them. I love him because of what we shared and how he makes me genuinely happy. I miss that, not necessarily from him, just that feeling.

It's really hard to come by good friends, and I have one of the best. I need to give her the credit she deserves. Sometimes we put people in a box and not realize that there is room in there for other people. I have a really really good friend who always has my back, no matter what. I know she gets tired of listening to the same shit in different words, but she listens, open heartedly, without judgment. Sometimes I need that. She is truly a Godsend, my friend, my sister. I thank her so much.

I flunked a quiz in class today.
Posted by Nik :: 2/13/2006 :: 3 Comments:

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