Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Three Questions About My Memories

What is your earliest memory?
My very first memory must be when I was about 3 years old. It was my birthday and my parents bought me a barbie doll. I don't know if the doll was black or white, but I am assuming it was white. I was so happy. I opened my presents and then my daddy hoisted me on his shoulders and we went to the park, just like that. I got on the swings and I prolly played on some other things at the park, but I don't remember. I just know that I got on the swings because I sat my Barbie down where I was swinging so that I could hold on to the swing. Maybe the swing was the last thing I got on because after I got off the swing, my daddy put me back on his shoulders and we began walking home. I don't know how far we walked, but I do know that we were closer to the park than our house. I told my daddy to turn around because I left the doll. He did. When we got back to the park, a little girl (a little white girl, that's why I assume the Barbie was white. White people don't play with black dolls.) was playing with my doll. I told her it was mine and asked for it back. She told me no. My daddy asked her mom to get the Barbie from her and give it back to me. The little girl's mother said no because that was her daughter's doll. I couldn't and still can't believe that lady stood there and told that bold face lie. I cried all the way home. I mean boo-hooed. My daddy was trying to calm me down, but my little feelings were so hurt. When we got home, my momma asked what was wrong and I told her. Do you know she started fussing at me about "keeping up with my shit." She actually said that's what I got. I was too hurt.
What have you tried to forget?
I have tried to forget so many things. I've tried to forget that time my momma hit me with a board. I have tried to forget a quite embarrassing moment at basketball practice. Thank goodness no one knew it was me. I have tried to forget a particular young man that absolutely means me no good.
What do you wish you could remember?
I wish I could remember more Christmases with my great-great grandma. I remember her. I remember spending the night with her. I remember her walking through the house late at night. I remember the living room furniture. It was blue. I remember the pictures on the wall. A picture of my uncle and his wife from their 8th grade prom was in the middle. I remember her combing my hair. I remember her putting lemon juice in her hair. I remember her hitting me with the broom when I threw water in my cousin's face while he was sleep. I remember her eating cottage cheese, crackers, and thousand island. I remember her telling me coffee would make me black but still making me a cup. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with her while she made jello. I remember her calling my daddy Melvin. I remember her calling me Lisa and Ashla. I remember her saying "that black ass gal of lisa's" I remember her buying my cousins black dresses for Christmas less than a month before she died. I remember my momma telling me she was dead. I remember the look on my moma's face. I remeber not understanding why they wouldn't let me go to the hospital. I remember her face. I remember her. I love my grandma. I remember so much about her. God, I miss her. I have all these memories. I know we went to her house every Christmas, but I just don't remember her being there. I wish I could remember spending Christmas with my Moma Liza.

Posted by Nik :: 1/18/2006 :: 0 Comments:

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