Incidents in the life of.....

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

LEAVING

I am going to Houston Sunday! I'm pretty excited about that. I learned that Texas does not accept the Praxis and I will have to take their state test, but that's cool. They have a lot of programs designed to help you and they give you a year to pass it. I don't think I will have a problem getting a teaching job, but if I do, I will just do something else. I just don't want to be here anymore. I am 99.9% certain that I am leaving. It's about that time. It seems like my life is changing everyday. Each day something new happens and makes me evaluate my situations and thought process.
Today I had to evaluate my views on friendship and make sure I really believed what I said I did. I do. There are certain instances when we have to compromise because of our friends, but there are also certain principles, core principles that we have to hold steadfast and be unyeilding. For the past four months, maybe longer, I have been struggling with this one friend and her relationship with one of my ex boyfriends. I have tried diligently to understand her point of view, but I just cannot. I have tried to accept her decision and still hold to my beliefs, our opinions are so contradictory that it is impossible. I feel like if I continue the relationship with her, then I am ignoring what I believe in my heart is wrong. She feels like if she discontinues her relationship with him, she is ignoring what she thinks is wrong. Either way, something has to give. So I chose to give up the friendship. It may seem selfish, but for the life of me, I just don't understand and I firmly believe she is wrong. So I had to let it go. It hurts tremendously, but I have to do it because I really can't get over it. I think if you can't let go of something, you have to walk away from it because there will be constant reminders and constant problems that keep stemming from it. This goes for friendships and intimate relationships. Ok, I just had to get that out of my system. Now I am LEAVING that alone too.

Posted by Nik :: 6/07/2006 :: 5 Comments: