Wednesday, January 12, 2005

DAY 3

I really have been reading The Purpose Driven Life, I just hadn't had time to post. I write as soon as I finish the section for the day, I just don't always have access to a computer. Anyway, Day 3....
I think Day 3 is probably the best chapter in the book, but I must admit, I have no idea what drives me. The things I do come naturally. I went to school because it was what I was supposed to do. I decided to teach because it was a cheap way to get through Tougaloo. I love my job, but teaching was and is a means to an end.
I want to go to law school somewhere because I feel like I am settling. I wouldn't actually let those words come out of my mouth, but this is my journal, so wth? I am not driven by a need for approval or materialism. I guess I am driven by self-gratification, whatever is best for the circumstance at hand. Well, becoming a lawyer will satisfy me (I hope), but I will help a lot of people in the process. I won't help as many people as I am now nor will the impact I have be as great. I want to practice corporate law and reshuffle the rich people's money. Funny thing is, I have no idea why.
The question is why would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? They would probably say knowledge because my head is always buried somewhere in a book. I doesn't matter what it is, I want to know. I hate not knowing. I wnat to walk into the light. ***Walk in the light, beautiful light. Come where the dewdrops of mercy are bright. Shine all around us by day and by night, Jesus the light of the world.*** With that, I want Jesus to drive my life. I know my steps are ordered and he has complete control; I just wish I would do better. I do things that I know aren't pleasing. I guess I am driven by a need to succeed. Yet, I have no idea what makes me successful.

Posted by Nik :: 1/12/2005 :: 0 Comments:

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