Sunday, January 02, 2005

The Purpose Driven Life Day 2

Today I am supposed to remember that I am not an accident. I have never considered myself an accident, just not planned, if there is a difference. This book tells me that I am a part of God's plan, which I already knew subconsciously. I have a purpose; I just don't know what it is. I wish I wasn't so simple minded and could read between the lines, but everything I read, I am sitting here like, "DUH!" Anyway, the question is what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept? I need to stop or I am having difficulty accepting that I am a bit mean, actually bitchy. I am also apathetic. When people say it, they say it jokingly, but when most people are concerned, I'm usually the one to say, "That's horrible" and mean it. I don't dwell on it though. You take the bad with the good. Bad things happen. I am not stuggling to accept any areas of my background. I can't blame myself for my parents, family, or upbringing. Actually, no one is to blame. I actually come from a good background. We aren't the wealthiest family by far, but we are definitely happy and close-knit. I have no regrets about my past either. I have made mistakes, but most of them I have learned from. My appearance could use some work. I am not ugly, but I have blemishes in my face that I do not like. I started using Proactive a little over 2 weeks ago and have yet to see a difference. I will be patient though. I need to start back walking. I am a perfect size ten and I love it. I am going to walk to get in shape, not lose weight.

It's not fate, luck, or chance.

God gave me this bad skin and made me this size for a reason. What that reason is, I haven't the slightest. I can accept that though, but I also think he put it in my head to excerise and put money in my pocket to buy Proactive for a reason. The posed the question like we are supposed to accept our personalities, backgrounds, and physiques, but I disagree. I honestly wish I cared more, but I don't. I have accepted these blemishes since 8th grade, it's time to do something about them. Anyway, the point is I have a purpose and am not an accident. I just have to figure out that purpose.
Posted by Nik :: 1/02/2005 :: 1 Comments:

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