Incidents in the life of.....

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

It's funny how things have a way of working themselves out. A week ago, I was really stressing over how my relationship was evolving. Now, I don't even have a relationship to trip over.
Blair and I are friends. In his words, "tea and crumpettes, no sex." That's fine with me. He called me a few hours after I wrote my last entry. I was baking brownies with Keith, so of course I had to call him back. I called back 4-5 hours later. He was a bit jealous and overreacted. I didn't tell him Keith was at my house. He just assumed someone else is getting my time. I don't like Keith, and Keith and Blair both know that.
Anyway, he called me back a little later and told me it would be better if we stopped talking. I was sleepy, had to be at work in a few hours; so I said Ok and goodnight. The next day, the reality of the situation hit me because he didn't call that morning. He either wakes me up or calls on my way to work. I called back to get an explanation, but he didn't answer, which really hurt my feelings. He called back yesterday, which was exactly one week later.
He says he wants me to consider why I am making these career changes. He wants me to make sure I am doing what is best for me and not making him a factor. I think its pretty arrogant and egotistical, but he may have had a point. I was considering leaving anyway, being closer to him was just an added bonus. If I never see him again, I'm still moving.
I thank him for considering my future, but I wish he would have handled it differently. I'm glad I talked to him though because it made me realize I don't like him as much as I thought I did. I thought I would jump for joy when he called, but I didn't. I thought I would crazy if I didn't talk to him, but I didn't. After day 3 (that long) I was ok.
I like him, but I don't need him. He's cool, but not that important.

Posted by Nik :: 4/12/2005 :: 1 Comments:

Monday, April 04, 2005

overwhelmed

It seems like death is everywhere. I just wonder when someone close to me will succumb. Not that I am hoping, wishing, or praying, but it just seems like we can't excape it. I think the Terri Schiavo death was actually murder and I don't understand how her husband can be so selfish. I can understand removing the feeding tube if she was completely brain dead, but the woman was conscious and responsive. How can you do such a thing?! Normally, I would say the final decision is left up to the spouse because the Bible says they are one and he is the most important person in her life. However, he has moved on with someone else. If her parents were giving him their blessing and telling him to move on, how can he do that? Personally, if I can't enjoy life, I don't want to be here. Yet, I seriously doubt she told him that. I think he was just being selfish. To make matters worse, he wouldn't allow her sister into the room during those final moments, but his brother was there. WTH? If I am about to die, I would rather have my sister there than my brother-in-law. I understand him not wanting her brother in there bc he was a wreck and the end result would have been police. To put the icing on the cake, he is having the girl cremated. I think he is doing that out of spite, but I could be wrong. I also think had she been in any other state, she wouldn't have gotten this much attention, but she was in Florida and got it.
Then Johnnie Cochran died. That makes you realize how short life is. He wasn't even old. Though I think OJ did it, I applaud Johnnie for getting him off. (Is that crazy) He was one helluva defense attorney. He was one of the few infamous black men I don't mind supporting. He's one of those I prolly should have put in my program.
Then The Pope died. I'm not even Catholic, but I couldn't help but be upset about it. He just seemed like a great man. I will pray for the Catholic church.
Not that he is dead, but Bill Clinton looks a mess. That surgery is killing him. He looks so thin and pale. I hope he gets better. I love that man. I wish I could have had an opportunity to vote for him.

School's almost out. I am not attending Ole Miss. I missed the deadline for the English department. Maybe that's a sign that I should finish these two years and go to law school. I don't know. I have no idea where my life is supposed to go. I'm really feeling this dude and if I am honest with myself, he is a big part of the reason I want to move to Oxford. I don't even know him like that and he is so not my type. I need a reality check. He hasn't done ANYTHING wrong, but in my head, I feel like he is going to hurt me. I should really listen to that little voice; it's usually right on point.
I am so out of the loop with what's going on at my Alma Mater. Well, that's not true. I pretty much know what's going on. It's just a part of me that wishes I was there to share some of the experiences. I wish my sorors luck with the upcoming elections, particularly Miss Tougaloo. I also hope AKA week is on point. It was great last year! Gamma Omicron is awesome!
The social worker talked to the little girl. Well,she talked to herself because my student wasn't very responsive. I know what I want her to do, but I think she should do what makes her happy. I did my part, whether it was my place or not, I did it. I just hope she can move forward. I plan on taking her to Tougaloo with me soon. I just have to figure out when I am going and for what reason.

Posted by Nik :: 4/04/2005 :: 1 Comments: