Incidents in the life of.....

Incidents in the life of.....

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

RAMBLINGS

Here I am, sitting in Jackson, stranded, all alone. Ha! I am such the genius. What was I thinking? Well, I was trying to go visit my friend and I did. This is the aftermath. Was going to Cleveland worth it? Yes, it was. I had a blast. The last time I went, we didn't really do anything. We watched the Lakers lose and ate ice-cream. The Lakers got blasted that night. Anyway, while Red and I were visiting LC, we went to Greenville. I gambled for the first time in my lfe. I did not win anything. So much for beginner's luck. My friend's won though so I was happy for them. Then we went to Garfield's. I had never eaten there and it was not good. We drove around town being so silly. No one would have ever guessed we were in our twenties. We had a good time. I cannot wait until we are all working and plan for real trips. We are going to have a blast. VMH is coming to Jxn to get me Thursday and then we are going to the coast to spend the 4th. I'm excited. I had to give her the third degree to get her to come, but she's coming and I am happy. Like a kid in a candy store. I am going to take her to meet LJbc my girl is stuck on the base until late July, so I am going to have to visit her. I don't know what will happen when VMH meets Ashley. I doubt they will like each other, but I am sure they will be civil. I'm blabbering so I will post later.

Posted by Nik :: 6/29/2004 :: 5 Comments:

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Saturday, June 26, 2004

June's lyrics

Hakuna Matata, it means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem free philosphy. Hakuna Matata ladies!

Posted by Nik :: 6/26/2004 :: 3 Comments:

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Monday, June 21, 2004

SatSunMon

Saturday...
VMH had Jay a party. That took up all of my day. The last child didn't leave until almost 9. It was ok though bc they were having fun. They looked so happy. I got tured just watching them. She bought this pool from Wally World that you had to pump up. That was the worst idea known to man. You had to literally pump it up with a pump my little brother would use to pump his bike and the pool was huge. They had fun, so that's all that counts. Then we changed and went to Jillian's. It's a nice little resteraunt. From there, we headed to Beale St. The bartender at Wet Willie's gave me a free drink bc it was my bday. Vmh couldnt finish hers, so i helped her out! Then we went back to Jillian's, but to the club this time. I was in the mood to dance. I guess bc the alcohol was flowing through my system. I enjoyed myself. I caught a few eyes, let a few guys catch my eyes. I was being really flirty. I was cute,too. I had on a white linen skirt set, one of those skirts that flow so that they compliment my nonexistent shape. VMH did my makeup and I had on a cute pair of black sandles. It feels weird to be 22. This means I am grown for real and am about to have to pay grown folks bills.
Sunday....
VMH rolled my hair. Auntie Rita made me some banana pudding, which I loved. I received and email from the former Mr. LAC. It appears that he knows about Mr. Interesting. I used to care and hope that he never found out, but I really don't care. I neither confirmed or denied, but basically told him it was none of his business. We are not together, nor are we friends, or lovers. So I don't owe him anything. I don't know how that sat with him. I really don't care.
Monday....
I turned in all of my stuff to teach in qc. Then I came home. I missed this place.
That's about it. I was going to go in detail in this post, but I don't feel like typing. I haf to post that much though bc I might not remember.

Posted by Nik :: 6/21/2004 :: 6 Comments:

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Friday, June 18, 2004

I think it's over

Well, I went to QC today. I interviewed with the superintendent (who was very cute and young)and completed my application. I think I may end up there. I am almost certain, but I don't want to be hasty in my decision making process. He was very friendly and helpful. We went to the middle school where I would be working if I take the job. Small though it is, I think I would like it. As I was walking around the building, I thought, if they would only read the walls they will learn something. There were all sorts of quotes and pictures painted on the wall. They were mainly for encouragement purposes, but it wasn't too cliche. They had the UNCF quote (The mind is a terrible thing to waste), but moreso the writings on the wall could have been someone's philosphy of education. I wish the principal would have been there bc then I could have gotten a better feel for the school. If I take it, I am going to have my hands full. It's a long way from the level 5 I graduated from. I think I can handle it though. I was leaning more toward Yazoo County, but when I got there all I could think was, I only had 3 black teachers. Black students need black teachers. (I'm not on one of my racist tangents this time.) Yazoo will find an English teacher, no Ashley, but a teacher. She or he will do fine and the kids will do fine. QC is lucky to get teachers bc of the region they are in. The super is pretty new and he said of the 22 teachers he had, only 4 came back. WHOA. That says he doesn't play. The school is in school improvement and I think I can help. He said a lot of times students going to the fourth grade won't even know their alphabet. That's sad. It's prolly a good thing they didnt' come back. So more than likely I will be in QC teaching reading. We'll see. Nothing is final just yet.
Oh yeah, I got to QC bc of a soror. She was extremely helpful. Soror Miranda gave me her number. She has called me twice a day for the last 3 days trying to make sure I have everything. She called the Mr. Towner, the super, and told him all of my info. She gave me his number and I called. He, too, was impressed. So now I am working with Soror Reid to get an emergency certificate, just in case I don't past the Praxis. She told me she would complete the app for me if I just give her the info. So sometime this weekend I have to write a 2 paragraph I guess summary of why I need this certificate and why I deserve it. She said between her and Miranda I should have no problem. I appreciate her. Membership has its perks!

Posted by Nik :: 6/18/2004 :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, June 17, 2004

Thursday's Dirt

What...
1. ...is the first thing you think of when you wake up? What time is it? (I usually hit the snooze a few times)
2. ...are the first two things you think of when you read the word "friends"? ride-or-die, melissa
3. ...are the top three things in your wish list? healthy, communicative family; letters behind my name; peace of mind
4. ...are the four food groups according to you? meats, ice-cream, fruits and veggies, icecream
5. ...are the five reasons why you like growing up? My biggest worry was the amount of fun I would have at recess; no matter what your 'friend' did, you were still friends; the thought of living on my own; naps (I still take those; sharing a room with my sister bc I always had someone to talk me to sleep

Posted by Nik :: 6/17/2004 :: 3 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

I'm thrilled

I began my trek through the Mississippi Delta in search of a job yesterday. I put in applications with Yazoo City, Yazoo County, Cleveland, Bolivar County, Tunica, Tunica County, Clarksdale, and Coahoma County. I got really good vibes from Yazoo County. I liked the principal at the middle school. I didn't get and opportunity to talk to the principal at the high school, but I left my app and resume with the secretary. She was a black lady and she had gospel playing in the background. That was a plus. (We will look past the fact that she has a gheri curl!!) The man at the middle school was quite impressed with my resume and said he would hire me, despite my pending Praxis scores. He also said they pay 29. It was my turn to be quite impressed. He was nice. I got to talk to some of the teachers and they seemed to like it. I talked to them one on one, so they really had no reason to lie. I like Yazoo County Middle. I interviewed in Cleveland with the personnel director. He was frat so that might help. He was cute too. I left him my resume. He told me to send the app back in. The guy at Yazoo City high school said he had an opening and was interested in me. I completed my app and he told me to take one to the central office. He taped my resume to his desk. However, the position at his school is pending. The teacher is in the running for assistant principal. If she doesnt get it, there wont be an opening. I did not like Clarksdale. No one said anything out of the ordinary; I just did not like it. I was thinking let me hurry up and get the hell away from here. I took my app with me and prolly won't send it back in. I do not want to live there. Looks like we won't be going to Tunica. The only opening is at an alternative school. They want a veteran to fill it. No prob with me.
As I was driving through the delta, all i could think was these people really are poor. Of course I went to school with a few people from the delta, but I would have never imagined they went home to that. Those towns are so poor. They need more than teachers. They didnt have for real stores. The gas stations were called something like pop's gas. I felt so bad for those people. When I went to Shelby to put in an app, Idrove by the central office three times bc it looked like a house. The people were really friendly, but really impoverished at the same time. It was one of those times I wish there was something I could do. I can teach there, but could I really do it without going crazy? I don't know ladies. Maybe after I am seasoned, but not fresh out of school. My desire isn't that strong. It's really rough. It's beyond poor. The people seemed as if they didn't know they were living in poverty.
Brighter things, I talked to this lady at the State Dept. She said she got an e-mail from kh's principal about an opening in the english dept. and he is specifically looking for an African American female. That would be me. She sent him my referrel and odds are I will get the job. If my test scores prove unsatisfactory, she will issue me an emergency certificate and i can still teach. So now, pretty much it's up to me to choose yazoo or kh's district. My job search has officially ended. Well, it will when I go talk to the superintendent in the latter district. Ha. I'm thrilled.
Now I'm in Memphis so I am going to enjoy my best friend and the days leading up to my 22nd birthday!

Posted by Nik :: 6/16/2004 :: 2 Comments:

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Saturday, June 12, 2004

I stole this from Sway

Blue

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Nik :: 6/12/2004 :: 2 Comments:

--------------------------------------- I'll be moving on

OK, After reading RR's blog, I wonder why I can't be that strong. I think if I keep talking to LAC, eventually something meaningful will come out of it, but how long do I wait? Is it really worth it? Why keep putting myself out there to get hurt? If he did it, not once, but twice, what makes me so damn foolish to go back to the same situation? Why even want to go back? Why even give him the time of day, when he so blatantly doesn't deserve it? He had his chance, make that chances, and he fucked them both up. I love this damn boy, but I refuse to put my feelings on the line again. He keeps telling me we are building, but what the hell are we building? I am building a f*$&#*g bridge and getting over it.

Posted by Nik :: 6/12/2004 :: 2 Comments:

--------------------------------------- The Quiz

I am an Intellectual

Which America Hating Minority Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons

Posted by Nik :: 6/12/2004 :: 1 Comments:

--------------------------------------- Praxis II

I finally took that darn test. I don't know if I passed or not. It was actually difficult. I wasn't really tripping bc everyone keeps saying it is administered on an 8th grade level. I don't know too many 8th graders who can identify a passage from 1984 or by Tolstoy, tell you about Keats and Shelly, or who wrote Waldon and Waldon Pond. That damn test was hard. I don't know if I passed or not. I am sure I am borderline passing or failing. I hope I passed. I don't care if it is by one point or 20, just passed. I used to be pretty decent at standardized test. I don't know what happened. In four weeks I will post about my scores.

Posted by Nik :: 6/12/2004 :: 1 Comments:

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Friday, June 11, 2004

Just because I don't have anything to talk about

The Lakers got blasted last night. :( I've been watching the games with Jerrod, Stacey, and Sleepy. The Pistons are leading 2-1.
The culmination for VBS is tonight. The entire VBS is doing a play and my children have to sing "This Little Light of Mine." We are going to sign it as well. They look so cute doing sign language. I need to go buy them something for being so good this week. I have really enjoyed them.
After I got in from watching the game, I called Mr. LAC. I talked to him for about 30 mins. We had an argument about where we stand. My intentions were to tell him I matured,but it didn't quite happen that way. Well I told him, but then I said something very selfish. At the time, I didn't realize I was being selfish. It wouldn't be selfish I was willing to do what I told him not to. I told him we had an agreement, but in actuality I can't. I could, but I doubt that I will. He said he was sleepy. I don't know how true it was. He prolly just got tired of the convo. I will tell him I overreacted tonight.
Then I called Mr. Interesting. I didn't want anything I was just calling. He ended up telling me something really personal. I don't know why he chose me to tell. I'm not surprised though bc he always tells me personal things and makes me promise not to tell. This time he made me swear. If it was me in the same sit, there is no way in hell he would have been the one I confided in. We talked for a while, then I went over there. He is really going through some things right now. I guess he just needed someone to talk to him. I listened. I couldn't really give him any advice bc I am not and have never been in that situation. It's easy to say what you would and wouldn't do, but you never really know until u are actually in the sit. As tempting as it was to tell him what to do, I just listened.
I called Veronica at 6 am. I thought she was going to curse me out, but she didn't. She just listened and told me everything I knew she would. I love that girl.
I went to CIngular this morning for my drug test. The class starts July 12. I still haven't decided whether or not I am going to take the job. It's $10.29 per hour. The man told me 10.50, but the director said 10.29. That's still good, but I hope I am not here that long.

Posted by Nik :: 6/11/2004 :: 3 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Beautiful young men

I started teaching Vacation Bible School Monday. I was a little nervous at first, but I love it. It almost makes me wish I would have majored in elementary education. I think I may like that a little more. Today is Wednesday so we had prayer meeting. I was upset bc we have a program Friday and my children really need to practice. Unfortunately, we only had 30 minutes in class bc prayer meeting starts at 6 and vcb starts at 5, but we spend 30 minutes following a 'worship guide.' I was kinda angry, but when we got to prayer meeting, it was led by the young men (high school age) of the church. I was quite impressed. They did everything-the call to worship, prayers, the scriptures, the praise reports, the testimonies, the songs, everything. It was quite moving. Seeing them made me realize that all the young men are not running the streets. Of course I already knew this, but looking at them reiterated that. They talked about leaning and depending on God, the positive male role models in the church, how far they've come since they started attending my church, how blessed they were to have their moms. I don't know if I could have done that in the 10th grade. I don't know if I could, but I know I didn't. When I went to prayer meeting in high school, when people asked me to participate all I would do is read the scriptures. I didn't have enough confidence or trust in the church to stand there and poor my heart out. It's different now, but it wasn't then. I was so pleased with those young men. I hope they continue the path they are on.

Posted by Nik :: 6/09/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, June 07, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Charity:: Hope
Scale:: fish
Jennifer Lopez:: sucks
Coercion:: trick
Meter:: stick
Pressure:: blood
June:: 19
Infestation:: rat
Serial killer:: ted bundy
Anguish:: lament

Posted by Nik :: 6/07/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, June 05, 2004

This tingly feeling

(Breif psa)Ok I am tripping bc I am in the library and the comps are kid-protected (i don't know the politically correct term.) so that children cannot access, let's see, adult sites. Well my blog won't come up. I think it must be the profanity. Mine nor Ranada's is coming up. (Perhaps we should watch our language?! NOT!!!!) KH, Roz's and MF are showing. I wonder what the prob is.
Ok. I spent the night with Mr. L-A-C. Well, I'm not really confused anymore. I know I like this boy and he feels the same. I thinks it's just weird. If the distance wasn't there, I would really try to make it work, but I can't see myself doing the distance. KH said I'll have a for real job with time and money to travel. Valid point, but I'm one of those people who thinks the man is supposed to handle things like that. Only, he won't be able to bc he won't have a for real job and will be a struggling med-school student. My best friend swears we are in denial. I am not in denial. I just don't know if I can act right over distance. And, whose to say he won't hurt me like he did the first time. Hell, I don't think I can hurt any more than I already have. I don't even know where all this came from bc the other day,I was a pimp. I had 3 dates with 3 different dudes. What is happening to me? I must say that I am enjoying it though. I need to slow down and not get any expectations though. When people get expectations they have a tendacy to also get hurt feelings. I don't know. All I know is that when I am around him I get this little tingly feeling that I forgot existed. I will keep you posted.

Posted by Nik :: 6/05/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Mr. ?

I have been talking an awful lot to a once Mr. Wonderful, once Mr. Asshole, now Mr. Leave-Ashley-Confused. I haven't talked to him more than normal, but the level has shifted on me. We used to just have simple convos about our day and a few things that left one of us perturbed. Now, all of a sudden, we are talking about taking trips to visit each other. I don't know. When I saw him a few weeks ago, it was like nothing had changed. I spent the night with him, but it was no big deal. When we woke up,we laughed and cracked jokes as usual. We were just friends. Now he is asking me to spend the weekend of my birthday and a couple more weekends with him. Usually when I am about to do something I shouldn't a voice in my head tells me not to do it. Most of the time, I do it and deal with the consequences later. This time, I don't hear that voice. I don't know if it is bc I have changed and don't care about the male species as I once did or if I am ignoring it or if the voice has nothing negative to tell me. I really don't know. I like him. I do. I just don't know where this is going. I don't know why he wants to spend time with me. I don't know why I am so willing to go. I guess I will just have to think on it a little more. Right now, it seems like I will be spending time with him.
My friends seem to think he is the one I am going to marry. I don't know if they think he is the one I am supposed to marry though. I know I love him, but I don't think a relationship could work. If it woould work, I would be more than willing to invest in it. I just don't see it. I think he has a good heart and I know he realizes what went wrong. I still don't know. I do know I love him though. I don't know ladies.

Posted by Nik :: 6/02/2004 :: 2 Comments:

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Today I had to get up and take Travis to summer school. I was too tired. Today was the first day and I had to register him bc my parents had to go to work. I wanted to kill him. I was nice though, even though it was waaaaay too early to be up. He was so dag on happy-go-lucky. He has to repeat English of all classes. I'm not mad at him though bc he is so good in math and science, my trouble subjects. His stregnths lie in a whole different area.
It rained Memorial Day, so we didn't do anything. I was kinda glad bc my fam had barbecued Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It's alot of us, so we can afford to do that. Saturday morning I got up and went to get my car. I feel so much better. I hadn't been stranded; I just wanted to be in the Protege'. I am going to miss that little car. I went by Meka's Saturday, too. I saw Brandon and his girlfriend arguing. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I know they were arguing. He was in his truck with his seat back, hands behing his head, and legs on the dash. She was leaning over the passenger door. I know they were arguing bc 1. they were outside 2. she was standing outside of the truck 3. he had his hands behind his head, meaning he was fustrated. Sad thing is, I was kinda happy they were arguing. It's weird too bc I don't want him. AT ALL. I wonder why I felt that way. I saw him again when I was registering Travis for school.
I'm not bothered about being at home. I have been talking to some old friends from high school. I actually held a nice little convo with Rita. Old habits die hard. She was once my Ace. We were inseperable. My daddy said she was going to be the reason I got in trouble. Rita was rough, but I had a mind of my own. She's going through something right now that will change the rest of her life and I just wish we were as close as we used to be so that I could be her rock. She's going to need it. She's pregnant and her baby is dying inside of her. There is nothing they can do about it. She's too far to have an abortion. They told her that she will miscarry. She is 6 months and looks 3. She smiles, but I can see the pain in her face. I wish there was something they could do. They told her early in pregnancy that her baby would have heart problems, but she said she didn't care. She was having her baby. I feel so sorry for her. She has to carry a baby that she knows will never make it. I pray for her stregnth and sanity bc its seems like both is hard to hold on to right now.
I talked to Shaniya. We were supposed to go out the other day, but something came up. She's pretty cool. I doubt that we could ever be friends again, but she's ok. Maybe we will do lunch later. Ebony, Amaya', and I went to Ruby Tuesday last night and she was our waitress.
Jessica H. called and came by my house. I never gave her my number or my new address. I don't like that girl. I am so rude to her, but she keeps on trying to be my friend. I haven't talked to her in years. I used to walk by her and not speak. She won't get it though. Oh well.
Anyway, I'm out. Go and be blessed.

Posted by Nik :: 6/02/2004 :: 1 Comments:

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