Thursday, April 29, 2004

A whole bunch of nothing

Well first, let me say that Tougaloo is trying to make a rise in the cafe. There is now someone checking id before you can eat. We now have covers for the bread. The deserts are not individually wrapped, but placed on a white porcelain tray for you to choose which one you want. There was a table set up to keep the food warm yesterday, but I didn't see it today. At dinner, they served boiled shrimp. Tougaloo. Boiled shrimp. They were big too. I don't know if they were good or not because I was scared to eat them, but that's another story. The basketball players had more than their fair share though.
Anyway, the man at TNT has officially pissed me off. I went up there today. He hadn't even done mine. I am so pissed. He claims everyone's will be ready tomorrow, but I didn't tell my ls that because I have no faith in him. I just think if we were understanding all those times he f*cked up then he should understand we need them yesterday. I will digress though because people have for real problems and I'm bitching about the people at TNT.
The Zetas and Sigmas had Mr. and Miss Royal Elite last night. It wasn't Mr. Debonaire, but it was nice for a Zeta pageant. My little friend Amanda won. She did so well. She had a lot of attitude. I hope she makes it when she writes. Anyway, they did a switch-a-roo for one of the intermissions. Two reps from each organizations had to go up there. There were only four of us there (Felicia, Tracy, Stubbs, and self.) Felicia and I went. Needless to say, I did not want to. That is so not my thing. I can barely do the few AKA struts I know. We ended up with the Kappas. Felicia shimmied and I held up the mirror. That was all I could do. Felicia was actually nervous. I was shocked bc usually AKAfool is always ready to act a fool. She looked cute. I sucked. The Sigmas had us. It was too funny. James Purnell and Anthony Archie got in table tops and did their "step-outs." I could have died. They were walking around with their noses in the air and shaking their heads bc they weren't shaking their hair. They threw up the pinkie and walked I guess confidently. It was hillarious. The crowd thought it was the best, but Jetau said the Ques won. I think she said that because the Ques did the Sigmas and the Sigmas did us. The crowd actually stood up for the Sigmas. The pageant was cute though. The switch-a-roo was the best part.
I take the GRE Tuesday morning for real this time. I am going to study for it over the weekend and Monday. I have to go tell Dr. Olabode to let me take my test early. I hope he does. He will prolly think I am avoiding his test bc I didn't take the mid-term. I was in Rhode Island.
It's official.I am going to Vegas after graduation. My plans were finalized this morning. I leave that following Wednesday at 9 am. I am kinda excited and kinda thinking I should go somewhere else. I don't know what I am going to do while everyone else is gambling. I refuse to gamble. I see absolutely no point in it whatsoever. I am going though. Maybe I will see a few plays. I don't know. Dr. Jackson said she loved it and is going again in October. She said I am crazy for going in May. I am excited though.
I talked to Mr. Asshole the other night. We actually had a decent convo. I think it was bc he was slightly tipsy. Of course he made his smart comments, but they were sarcastically funny, as opposed to I-can't-believe-this-bastard-just-said-that. It was actually ok. We laughed and talked like we used to before we started having problems. Don't think that's a sign though. Our being together is not in the cards. Again, he was tipsy. He told me that he finally realized some of the things he'd done wrong. I told him he should have listened when I tried to tell him. He said he realizes that. I can respect that.
Either one of two things happened: 1) I was completely comfortable for the first time around him or 2) I just didnt give a shit how he responded. I told him he needed counseling. Not pertaining to me, but to life in general. I have said over and over again to my friends bc I really believe he does. I told him the other night. He asked why and I told him everything I told Veronica. I even told him those things I said in my head that I would never tell anyone. He said he has problems just like everyone else. I said everyone else has problems, just not like yours. He didn't really disagree, but he didn't agree either. I guess you can't really expect someone to say, Yeah Ashley I need to see a shrink. I think he does though. I think he knows it to. Don't think I just blurted it out like I normally do, he asked for it. He said, this girl told me I need to see a counselor. I think he thought I was going to laugh it off, but I said, "I agree. I think you professional help." Shocked myself. (partially) Leave it to me to tell someone some shit like that. Again, he asked for it. I hope he gets it.
I talked to Bebe. I hung up in his face Sunday and he just called back last night. I didn't care. He kept talking about sex and I was so not trying to hear it. I told him. He kept on. I told him again. He kept on. I hung up. When he called, he asked me was I mad. I wasn't but I wasn't going to talk about sex either. I think he just called because he was drunk. (WTH is it with the alchis?) Idiot said he missed me. Yeah right. For some reason he cannot get it through his thick skull that no matter what he says I am not having sex with him. I think if we could actually move past that, we would have some ok convos. We may never know.
I am going to end here bc I have been talking too much. Good day everyone.
Posted by Nik :: 4/29/2004 :: 2 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Elastic:: band
   
2. Intervention:: prevention
   
3. Risk:: management
   
4. Junk food:: chip
   
5. Arrogance:: confidence
   
6. Responsibility:: take it
   
7. X:: malcolm
   
8. Marshall:: and tjmaxx
   
9. Kill:: bill
   
10. Brother:: bear
    

Posted by Nik :: 4/27/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Chilling

I just left the reservoire with two of my favorite people at this school. Sitting there talking to them made me realize how much I am going to miss this place. Even though majority of our conversation centered around Alpha Kappa Alpha, I feel like we could have been talking about anything. One of them is one of my very close friends and I wish I would have met the other one a long time ago. If I believed in reincarnation, we would have been friends in a past life. I really like this young lady. I guess it is a good thing I am only going to be a few miles away. I am going to miss her rebellious spirit though. Everytime I am around her, she makes me laugh. We end up laughing at everything, even those things that are supposed a "serious matter."
I planned on going home Saturday evening, but that was because I thought Monday was Reading Day. I jumped a whole week ahead. My daddy will be here Friday so he can take some of my stuff home. I am so excited about going to Tuskegee. The last time I went, I was kind of rushed so I didn't really get to go anywhere. I did go to the campus. I saw Booker T. Washington's home and a museum full of stuff about George Washington Carver. This time, I get to go alone and spend like four days with my friend. Since the last day of class for seniors is on a Thursday I am going to leave that Thursday afternoon. I am excited about that.
I am going to have to go see Veronica this summer too since she won't be at graduation. I am still a teeny-tiny-bit bitter about that. I think I will go for my birthday. I think my sister and I will go visit relatives in Virginia. I asked her if she wanted to go. She said yeah, but it was like "We can if you want to." I wanted her to be enthusiastic. It's ok though.
Annuals came out today. I do not like our page. The format is horrible. Our pictures are good though. They look so cute and pretty. The pictures are truly AKA pics, the layout is just ugly. It's ok though because we look so classy. We look uptight too though.
Anyway, I have nothing else to write about.

Posted by Nik :: 4/27/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, April 26, 2004

I guess

I wasn't going to write in this thing. I came in here to help Frison set her blog up. It was so pretty too. She forgot to save the changes. She said she will redo it later. I changed the colors yesterday. I felt kinda proud of myself. I just put the mood thing on here. I didn't really have a desire to do all this stuff until yesterday. Maybe I was bored. Mrs. Freeman will be up here tomorrow. I miss that lady. Dr. jackson finally signed my paper. I am supposed to give it to Dr. Glen tomorrow. I am almost finished. Looks like I will be graduating after all. I am still a little mad at Veronica for not coming, but I understand. I bought my Secret Soror the cutest little gift today. It's a frog candle holder, but it has a space for a pic in the froggy's belly. It's really cute. I haven't talked to anyone today. I was really tripping about those t-shirts. I felt horrible. I was trying to cover it up, but it didn't work out too well. He is supposed to call me when he fixes them. I hope he hurries up. There are no interesting men in my life right now. Well there are quite a few men, but I am not interested in any of them. They are just there for me to talk to when I get bored. I just let Timmy use my car. I have a bad feeling about that. Hopefully he won't tear my car up.

Posted by Nik :: 4/26/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

So many things to do

Last night was the Black Family Forum. It turned out really well. I was pleased with the intellectual questions and responses. One really stands out though because it was something I never thought about. Someone made reference to little girls vying for the attention of guys because of the absence of a father figure. I agree. That is the case most of the time. Then a little girl named Erin said, people are always talking about the girls needing attention. What about the little boy whose mother works all the time? Doesn't he need the same attention? Good question. Mr. Morris's response was somewhere along the lines of socialization. He said boys need that same attention that's why they become players. I disagree. I don't know the reason behind male promiscuity but I doubt that it is because they need their mother's attention. I think it's socialization and acceptance. It's socially acceptable for a guy to be a whore, maybe not individually, but socially. They get labeled "player" while we get libeled "whore." Big difference. That was about the best part I guess. They talked about the pipeline from schools to penetentry (sp?) and the legistation. It's one of those things I realized happened, but never really thought about. We don't have that problem on the coast. None of my classmates are in jail. I heard people talking about it, but never really for real thought about it until last night. That's the purpose of a forum. I enjoyed it.
After that, Frison and I slid fliers under the doors in Birkshire, A.A., and the New Dorm. Miracle and Stubbs put them under the doors in Renner. April said she was going to help but got out of my car just as we began. WTH? Then we went to JState bc Gamma Rho was having a party. By the time we got there it was over. It was only 11 o'clock. That was almost a wasted trip. We did talk them into attending our fashion show though. So that was ok.
Chapel was good today. I think the lady read her dissertation. It was interesting. It just sounded like a dissertation or intro to a book. It was about the Brown decision, being that this marks the 50th anniversary of Brown vs Board of Education it was very relevant. She posed the question of peril or progress to the decison and everything that has happened since. It was good. The lady's name is RoSusan Bartee and she was initiated into GO Fall 94.
That's about all going on. I have to write this paper for Dr. Glenn that was due Monday. I have senioritis and a bad case of it.
Oh yeah. Yesterday was my little brother's birthday. I never realized exactly how close we are in age until yesterday. It was his 19th birthday. So he's 19, my sister is 20, and I am 21. Whoa. I will be 22 in less than 2 months, but still.
Anyway, I must finish so that I can go sit on the plot with my ls.

Posted by Nik :: 4/21/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, April 19, 2004

?

1. Virginia:: Wolfe
   
2. Soft:: charmin
   
3. Carol:: ann, walk into the light (LOL)
   
4. Vanity:: Fair
   
5. Feminist:: movement
   
6. Alias:: aka
   
7. Coward:: ly dog (the tv show on cartoon network)
   
8. Beer:: and chicken
   
9. Chance:: fate
   
10. Honest:: abe
    

From these you would think I am feeling a little goofy today!

Yesterday was commencement of Pink and Green Week 2004. We are so excited. Chapel was good. The ribbon cutting was really nice. Chandra read her speech, but it was cool none the less. The plot looks really nice. The tea was ok. Ivy Cinema started off kind of slow, but turned out ok too. I enjoyed the march this morning. I'm glad everyone took it seriously. Cancer is a serious matter and too many times we walk around thinking it won't happen to us or won't affect us. I don't know anyone who has not been affected. Chandra talked about her aunt this morning at the program. I doubt that I could have done that. It just seemed so solomn. I guess everyone was thinking about that loved one that they lost or almost lost. I don't know and I digress. Don't want to think about it.
I am supposed to working on a paper for senior seminar. (yes another one) I will do that later. I also need to write one more page on my senior paper. I was out of things to talk about. It never dawned on me to find another poem. (GENIUS)
I miss my best friend. I haven't talked to her in about a week. I know that's not a long time, but when you talk to someone everyday and then you go a week, you tend to miss them. *It's hot in this lab** Everytime I call her she is busy and everytime she calls me I am busy. We are just going to have to make an appointment to talk.
If I should be so lucky, it's almost time for graduation!!!!

Posted by Nik :: 4/19/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, April 16, 2004

It fits me Hope

I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.


You are the most in touch with knowledge. It's the tree of life from which you tap the sap. You know what you want and you know how to reasonably get it.

Virtues: You respect people with plans. When someone has their head on their shoulders, you know that they can see straightforward and keep their eyes on the mark. When it comes to looking at the future, you take a logical approach: what's within your ability? A fortunate attribute that you have is the ability to set a goal for yourself, higher than maybe you feel possible, but still keep yourself within reasonable bounds. You take the time to appreciate those surrounding you and they do appreciate you in return. Decision-making comes naturally to you when you take the time to consider each option. People only come to talk to you when they are looking for a logical, reasonable solution.

Aspirations: You have an idea of what you can do with your life, but you push it up a notch. You need a profession that you can enjoy, so work towards it. You want to live near your friends and family while being as far away as possible. You also want to settle down while working in excitement and variation.

Quirks: You don't appreciate drama queens and they don't appreciate you. When they need help, they won't seek you out because of your ability to see through their overly dramatic predicaments. You have leeway for humor, and sometimes love to participate in it, but when it becomes irrational behavior, others can count you out. Loud noises are bothersome, except when they come from you or your friends.

Factors: Reach for the sky! Don't decide to do something because you're merely good at it, but choose something you might like to do, despite whether you're sure you can master it or not. Don't only save room for a few empathetic friends, but open up to everyone.

Future: When looking for a job, if you work in all of your talents (logic, decision-making, planning, and definitely humor), you'll find yourself happy. Come to a compromise for location; live nearby your friends and take periodic vacations or live farther away and take frequent return trips.

Posted by Nik :: 4/16/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Nothing new

I really have nothing important to talk about. I am supposed to go talk to Mr. Holmes today about a scholarship, but he is not in his office now. I have class at 2 and 3. I need to take the Praxis in the morning, but looks like I will be taking the GRE because I don't have the standby fee. I just tried to sit in on a presentation on Brown vs Board of Education, but it was a tad boring. I was supposed to give Dr. Jackson's effective communication class a vocab test but I got the times mixed up. I went at 1 when I should have been there at 11. I need to start on Dr. Gilmer's journals. That is what I will do this weekend, well Saturday because I have things to do today and Sunday. My Saturday shouldn't be too busy. I will talk later.

Posted by Nik :: 4/16/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Back in the Swing of Things

I guess I will start back writing on a regular basis now since I have done all I plan on doing to that senior paper. That was a headache and I am not sure it's over. I am hoping it is. Anyway, we had a senior class meeting today with the faculty and administration. My advisor has officially resigned so I have to talk to one of my professors about all my grad requirements. I actually think it's a good thing he is gone because he did not help me at all. He never answered any of my questions or returned any of my messages.
As graduation approaches I realize I am going to miss this place "where the eagles soar high and the moss hangs low." I have made some really good friends, met people in high places, made aquaintences with people who will be in high places, did research, made a documentary, had my work put on a website, and became a member of the first and finest black greek letter sorority. I have enjoyed Tougaloo. I am going to miss my professors, my friends, and my line sisters.
People always say college is the best time of your life. They were right, but this has also been the worst time of my life. I have lost more people in my family in the last four years than I did in the first 18 years in my life. I was hurt worse in college than I was in high school when I "thought" I was in love. All the people I considered friends in high school seemed like they became nonexistant when I got to Tougaloo. It was like we had nothing in common anymore, with the exception of three who I truly love and pray will be my friends forever. I picked up an attitude out of nowhere. I don't know when I became such a smart ass. That part is ok though. ;) I also picked up a habit, well not a habit, but I started doing something that my mom is not too happy about. (Notice I said my mom, not me.) I have been through a lot, but I have enjoyed every minute of it and wouldn't trade my experience for anything. All of my good days outweigh my bad days so I won't complain. God has been good to me.
I came in here to type about what has been going on these past two weeks, but I guess my mind was elsewhere. Now I have to go to this basketball amongst the fraternities. Maybe I will catch up later.

Posted by Nik :: 4/14/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, April 12, 2004

long time no write

it's been a minute. i have been going through a lot. i'm trying to figure out what i am supposed to do with my life. i think ive got it, but im not sure, so i will leave it alone in case i read this in a few years and am not going in that direction. i've been strong for my family. i almost asked my aunt where my grandma was on easter. i caught myself though. i looked through some old pics. the more things change, the more they stay the same. i look different, but the same. i've kinda grew into my head. i saw some pics of my grandma and great-grandma and they looked so young and happy. they were old, but not as old as they would have been today.
i've been doing alot. it seems like everytime i sit in front of the computer, i am working on a paper. that's senior life for ya though. i need to be working on one now, but i will in a few minutes. i wrote a good paper on malcolm x. i have one due on black politicians: striving, jiving, or surviving. that should be good. it's only 2 pages, no prob. i enjoyed my easter break. i made it through lent without alcohol. ashley and i went to ruby tuesday last night and i still didn't get anything, even though it's over. i talked to lloyd stephen. i don't know what to think about that, but now is not the time to try and figure it out. i really like candace nicole love jackson. i like her alot. she's so cool. she's smart too. i read one of her poems and tried to analyze it. i was so off. when she explained it to me, i was like, ooh thats deep. i'm a sped. it was really good. she's a fan of phyllis wheatley.
i am rambling, but i needed to post. it seems like i havent in forever.

Posted by Nik :: 4/12/2004 :: ---------------------------------------

Thursday, April 01, 2004

DYNAMIC

Sonia Sanchez spoke at chapel yesterday. I wish she was commencement speaker, but that's another subject. When I saw her, I saw her poems. I could see the radicalism (is that a word?) in her appearance, but when she spoke, she seemed so peaceful. I don't think she was advocating violence, but she just has a calming spirit. Her words just flowed. She never yelled, but you could see the passion in her eyes and hear it in her voice. She's mesmerizing. I couldn't help but listen to her. She seems down to earth, too. When told everyone she was an AKA, she said it with such conviction. You can tell she is proud of her sorority. When she talked to us afterwards, she told us to remember the principles we were founded upon and remember that AKA sets the precedence for everyone on the campus. :) She said we are supposed to be the leaders, just be pretty while leading. Ha! She's cool. She challenged us to not speak evil against anyone for an entire week. That may be a little difficult, but she gave us her number and told us to call her if we could do it. I don't know too many people in her situation who will just go around giving out their telephone numbers. She was pretty cool. The poems she read were good, too. What I liked most is how she just rattles off names of important black people. Her love for her race runs deep. She wasn't prejudiced though. She talked about helping Latinos and Japenese Americans, gays and lesbians, too. She seems like she just loves people, people in general. It's hard to find people like her these days. I was really awed by this woman. I really liked her.

Posted by Nik :: 4/01/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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