Incidents in the life of.....

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Shattered

I went to see Without Sanctuary today. The pictures weren't that bad. Looking at them, most of them, didn't do anything to me. I got upset when I read the descriptions. I just don't understand why people would do those things. I don't understand the lynching, but I can get past that. Why would you castrate someone who is already dead? Why would you cut off the ears of mentally disabled person before you lynch them? Why would you set someone on fire if they are already hanging from a tree? I just don't get. Mrs. F and K said I should feel some sort of sympathy for the people who did it because they really are ignorant. I just think they are evil and all I feel for them is contempt. That's not the word; it was almost hatred. It wasn't though because I don't hate white people. I hate the things some of them did. The actions of a few have tainted my feelings of the whole. I know it's wrong, but that's how I feel. It's sad.
I think the worst was the newspaper articles broadcasting the lynchings. One of the captions read "Five or Six Negroes (maybe Niggers, can't remember) to be Hung Today." That's sad. KH said it reminded her of a circus because they were all just gathered around, enjoying the show, laughing and smiling. I really think white people are evil. I know all white people are not like that and all black people are not good, but still. I'm just a little angry. I'll get over it.
I'm ready to go to Providence. I am so excited. I talked with one of my ls and she thinks we should spend the summer there. I'm down. I think I will like it. I'm considering living in the north, so maybe this will help me reach a decision. I just don't think I will take too well to being called a nigger. My ls said she got called a nigger three times while there. I have only been called a nigger once to my face. I am sure they have said it a million times behind my back. I still think I want to go. I want to travel as much as I can while I am still young, and I can get paid for going.
I had ice cream today!!!! The simple things in life bring so much pleasure. The Alphas had a patio show today too. It was so cute; they had me laughing. They did something in slow motion that I do not understand the relevance of, but it was too funny. They are ok with me.
KC went somewhere with KH and me today and she seemed so distant. I wonder what was on her mind. I know she is feeling depressed about a particular young man, but she was awfully quiet. That is so not like her. She's a quiet person, but not around us. Something was really bothering her. I hope she feels better. She's the reason I had icecream today. She wanted some so bad. Maybe it makes her feel better, too. :)

Posted by Nik :: 2/18/2004 :: 0 Comments: