Incidents in the life of.....

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Obedience is better than sacrifice.

I really need to learn how to be obedient, on so many levels. I would not be in the situations I am currently in if I would merely listen to what God is trying to tell me and actually obey his word.

I am glad that doors keep opening for me career-wise, but things would be so much better had I merely obeyed God's will. I left my job because Ashley wasn't happy. I convinced myself that I needed to be somewhere else to be fulfilled. I had that the-grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side mentality. Boy, was I wrong. I went to Homecoming was overwhelmed with love. As I listened to my children tell me what was new in their lives, I couldn't help but wish I could be there to experience it firsthand with them. I chose to walk away because of circumstances beyond my control. Walking away took away the circumstances within my control. I could no longer be that tree planted by God to bear positive fruits in that environment. In my head, I could bear those same fruits somewhere else. Every tree cannot bear fruit in every climate.

In spite of my disobedience, God continues to bless me, though I do not deserve it. He keeps on opening doors to allow me to get back to that climate and environment. When I finally get there, I will be better equipped for the occasional inclement weather. My fruits will continue to blossom despite the circumstances and I can enhance and uplift those beautiful minds that are continuing to develop without me.

I know this seems simple, but I have to obey God's will healthwise as well. God has given me a strict diet and I am not following it. I kept praying and telling God I wanted to "get sexy" and lose weight; yet when he told me what to do, I chose to do it on my terms. I have to listen. I have to put Ashley aside and know that I will be ok. When times get hard (and they will) I just have to stop and thank him. I know things will be better. I just need some faith and obediance in my life.

Posted by Nik :: 10/19/2005 :: 2 Comments: