Incidents in the life of.....

Friday, October 07, 2005

Just a few

Today was a thoroughly enjoyable day. The children were really well-behaved, shows they have some structure somewhere in their lives. For lunch, I had a fattening hamburger and fries. It was actually pretty good, but I planned on having that for dinner. I have been doing so well this week with excercise and diet. I'm pretty proud of self.

I am going home tomorrow because that sister of mine just had a beautiful baby girl who will go by Brooklyn, much to my dismay. I cannot wait to hold her tiny self in my hands. She looks just like her mommy. It's almost amazing because rarely do we see babies with forreal facial features. Her face is so defined. Ooh, she looks just like her mommy. Hopefully, while I am there Aubrey will go into labor. That will save me a trip, but how likely are the cosmos to favor me that much? We shall see.

I have recently been conversing with two young men that I once loved very deeply, at the same time. It's quite perturbing that they are attempting to walk back into my life at the same time. One of them caused me so much and pain, and I him; the other, it just never seemed to work out in our favor. Erykah Badu's "Next Lifetime" seems to be our ballad of circumstance. I really don't think either of them will pan out, but the game is quite interesting.

Am I really ready to settle down? I used to tell myself (and everyone who would listen) I would be married and carrying my first child at 25. If all that happens now, I will be completely shocked and amazed. I am 23 with no hopes of a husband. I don't even have a boyfriend. I think I am ready though. I am waiting on that "one right man to save the day, wrap me in his arms, and take me away." (TRINA) He's hard to find. I need him to be doing things and going places. I need him to want more. I need him to appreciate my inner and outer beauty and fortify my deepest weaknesses. I need him to be my column when my legs feel enervated. I need him to stimulate my mind as well as my senses. I need him to be able to lead and follow intense conversations as well as idle chatter. Shit sounds simple, but it's not.

There were other things on my mind, but my mind has gone in a direction I did not want it to go, so I will just stop while I am ahead.

Posted by Nik :: 10/07/2005 :: 2 Comments: