Incidents in the life of.....

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Thank you, Lord

Church Sunday was the absolute best. As soon as I walked into the sanctuary, I felt the presence of the Lord. I sat down, read the scripture and listened to Pastor preach about faith. (Proverbs 3:5,6) As he was preaching, I could feel the Lord moving in my body. I was trying really hard to hold my tears back. By the end of the message, tears were streaming down my face and my head was resting on Rita's shoulders. I just didn't know what to do. He opened the doors of the church and I was trying my best not to go up there, but I had to. When I got up there, I looked at Pastor and told him I needed some oil. He came down and asked me what was wrong. I told him it seemed like my world was crumbling down. That's not really what I felt; I felt like I was being suffocated. It seemed like I was barely breathing. Anyway, he called Mrs. Hawkins up there. He annointed my head and we prayed together. I really prayed and prayed hard. After that, I just stood there and cried on her shoulders. Finally, I found stregnth to go wash my face. When I got in the bathroom, I couldn't stand up. I had to lean on the sink for support. Then even that gave way and all I could do was fall on my knees. For about five minutes (I guess) all I could do was kneel in submission and pray and and cry and cry and pray. Then I was ok. I was still praying, but in my heart, I knew I was going to be ok. I thanked the Lord and got off my knees. I went into the stall to blow my nose and wipe my face. That's when Rita came in. I cried some more. This time, I was just crying. I still kinda felt like I couldn't breathe, but not like previously. We stood in the bathroom, holding each other. We talked briefly. I was trying to explain to her what was wrong, but I couldn't actually put it into words. She understood though because she said, "Nik, all you have to do is get back into the Lord." With that, I squeezed her tight and we walked back into the church and took communion. That made me cry a little bit more, but I was ok. After church people kept asking me what was wrong and I really didn't like it. I guess that was their way of saying they were concerned, but I didn't want to answer that question. I feel that if you see me having a moment in church (and we aren't friends), don't ask me what is wrong. Just tell me you will pray for me or offer some encouraging words. What's wrong shouldn't really be a concern because God will work it out.So anyway, I broke down because I haven't been serving Him like I should. He tried to tell me to meditate and I wouldn't listen. I guess that was the mild version of wake up. So in church Sunday, he yelled. I listened. I am going to meditate every morning. If I don't meditate, I am going to read a scripture. For now, I will continue to read Proversbs 3:5,6. I am truly blessed. I realize this. I also realize that a lot of people never have this experience. I am greatful that I am one of the chosen.

Posted by Nik :: 9/07/2004 :: 4 Comments: