Monday, March 29, 2004

Sunshine after the rain

This weekend has been the absolute worst. I got a phone call Friday night saying my grandmother died. At first I couldn't think. I was just standing there holding the phone, long after I had hung it up. Then I got dressed and got on the road to Hattiesburg. I felt horrible. I couldn't see while I was driving. I had to take my contacts off and put on my glasses. I finally made it to Hattiesburg. I talked to Ashley. She made me feel better, but I still didn't feel too great. Got home. Went to my aunt's. When I got there, everyone was talking and laughing. That helped a whole lot. My daddy took me to Taco Bell then home. When I got in the bed I couldn't sleep. It wasn't because I was upset though. I was just thinking about the last time I saw her. She looked fine. My aunt Kathy got married. It was a small ceremony, then a reception at her house. When I walked in, I didn't even see my grandma. I walked right past her. Then when I came back I saw her. I sat next to her. She just smiled. She said, I was wondering how long it was going to be before you said anything. I apologized and gave her hug. We were just talking, then one of my aunts said something crazy and my grandma said hush up girl. She was trying to explain but my Daily said she "don't nobody want to hear that ruckus." So she shut up. Then someone started talking about Woody and her face just lit up. She was so proud of him. She just bragging about her grandson making six figures, even though he is working for the white folks. The nigras just don't know how to treat people. All the while, I am just sitting there listening to this woman. She says whatever she wants to, to whomever she wants to. Anyway, the party progresses and she's ready to go. She tells Evelyn this, who is not too pleased, but is getting out of her seat anyway. I walk her to the car. She was using her cane, so I wasn't helping her. Even if I would have tried to hold her arm or something, she would have told me to move. She was just so independent. She lived by herself in her little two bedroom apartment. She went to the nursing home twice a week to read to the "elderly." Mind you, this woman is in her late eighties. On one of my visits, we were talking about the nursing home. She said she liked going there. It made her feel young, even though most of the people there were younger than her. She said when she got to the point where she needed assistance, just take her the nursing home. I told her nobody was taking her the nursing home. She said you gone be somewhere teaching and everybody else is gone be working. I don't want to burden anyone. I told her we had been "burdening" her all of our lives. It wouldn't be a problem. She said she wanted to go. She liked the people in the nursing home. I told her the people in the nursing home mistreat the patients. She told me I didn't know what I was talking about and to stop believing everything I see on television. Those people get three meals a day. They get a bath. They have visitors. They have friends. That is the same thing she has right now. The only difference is someone will be there to watch her 24 hours a day. I shut up. Seemed like her mind was made to me. Then she started talking about teaching. She said she didn't know why I didn't want to go to law school, but if I want to teach, then go ahead. Don't live my life for Ricky or Annie. They had their turn. Let them go to law school. Do whatever makes Ashley happy. I just smiled. It was nice to know I had her blessing. Anyway, Evelyn put her in the car after Kathy's reception and I gave her hug. (Maybe I should have hugged her first.) Then she told me to be patient because school is almost out. Then she tried to give me $5. She said I know it ain't much, but you can go buy yourself a soda. I told her I was fine. She told me to take it. I told her no because my daddy was going to give me some money. She said well don't tell him I gave you this. (I'm just cheesing because this woman is so stubborn. Not to mention, she gets a social security check and needs this money.) I remember one time Woody said something about "his granddaddy paying her bills, even though he has been dead for at least 21 years because I never knew him. She must have looked at him like he was stupid. She said, D'Wayne, what in the hell are you talking about? He said something about the check she gets every month. I don't know what he was talking about. Maybe she gets something because my grandfather was a veteran. I don't know. She told him don't worry about how her bills get paid, just don't call her and ask her for help paying his law school loans back. He said something about Evelyn helping him. (This was before he was making 6 figures.) Evelyn said, Don't try to turn me against Daily. That's my momma. Muh was just looking at him like, now what. So he just shut up. She looked at me and smiled, so cunningly. She was truly a gem. I am going to miss her, but I am not sad anymore. It was really just her time. She went to sleep. I am sure she is in a far better place. I only wish she could attend my graduation. I think that is going to be the hardest part. I think that may be even harder than attending the funeral. It is just sometimes, you expect certain people in certain places. She was just so proud of Ashley Nicole. I can still hear her telling my daddy, leave that girl alone. If she wants to teach, let her. Just be good at it, Ashley Nicole. I am going to miss her. It's ok though because I know she is ok and home in glory.
Posted by Nik :: 3/29/2004 :: 0 Comments:

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